In the six months (yes, six!) since I have last updated this little space, not much has happened and yet, a lot has happened. I've finished my second year of university, been to America to meet family I've never met before, had problems with my stomach (which are still ongoing), went to London with Callum, got a new tattoo, got my hair cut short, one of my best friends had a baby who I am in love with, I worked full-time in a job I love (as much as retail can be shit sometimes, it can also be good) and started my third year of university.
At the start of the year, I began to acknowledge the fact that for the past seven years, the sadness I have been feeling is actually mild depression. I had never regarded it in this way before, because I always thought it wouldn't happen to me.. What do I have to be sad about? The answer to that is nothing, and yet here we are. I just am. In the summer, I started to experience anxiety in a way I have never experienced it before and actually had to take time off of work because of it. I struggle with both of these things daily. Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed, shower, make a phone call.. even reply to a text message. It's hard to remember that I am not alone. But I'm not, I have a wonderful support system all around me. From friends not giving up on getting me to hang out, to ones just checking in, to my parents for offering up their support in any way. All of this came from opening up about how I'm feeling. A lot more people suffer from mental health issues than you may realise, and it's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
However, there's such a stigma with mental health. It isn't talked about, and if you can't see the problem then it must not exist. It must not be serious. But it is. 1 in 4 people will experience a problem with their mental health (reference), which I find some comfort in if I'm honest. You are not alone in how you're feeling, and you don't have to deal with it alone either. Help is always going to be there for you, you just need to pluck up the courage to ask for it.
Today is World Mental Health Day. This isn't why I'm making this post, I had planned to do a catch up/"hey I might start blogging again" post sometime soon, but today seemed quite fitting to make it. In no way am I recovered, but I'm trying. Really trying. And it really does make all of the difference to ask for help and to just try.
So there it is. What's been going on with me. If you still follow this blog in the hopes I will post again, then I do thank you. Because I plan on it. I'm not sure what about, but I may just go for it and see what happens.